Reflection, Contemplation, Hope

 Men Do Cry

By Ken Falk

I heard quite often "men don't cry"
Though no one ever told me why
So when I fell and skinned a knee,
No one came by to comfort me.
And when some bully boy at school
Would pull a prank so mean and cruel
I'd quickly learn to turn and quip,
"It doesn't hurt," and bite my lip.

So as I grew to reason years,
I learned to stifle my tears.
Though "Be a big boy" it began,
quite soon I learned to "Be a man."

And I could play that stoic role
While storm and tempest wracked my soul.
No pain or setback could there be
Could wrest one single tear from me.

Then one long night I stood nearby
And helplessly watched my son die.
And quickly found, to my surprise,
That all that tearless talk was lies.

And still I cry, and have no shame;
I cannot play that "big boy" game.
And openly, without remorse,
I let my sorrow take its course.
So those of you who can't abide
A man you've seen who's often cried,
Reach out to him with all your heart
As one whose life's been torn apart.

For men do cry when they can see
Their loss of immortality.
And tears will come in endless streams
When mindless fate destroys their dreams.

•••

A “Still” Father

By Richard Olsen in loving memory of his daughter Camille
Reprinted from M.i.s.s.i.n.g Angels newsletter, September/October, 2006


My child is gone
I hardly remember
Her coming
A moment in time
That was both
The longest
And shortest
Of my life.

Anticipation
Devastation
And now
Reclamation.
Putting the pieces
Of my soul
In semblance
Of order.

Time to go on
Time to get on
With life
With love
With a hole
In my heart
But with joy
For that moment.

I am Camille’s father
A blessed gift
Through whom I have learned
I can love deeply
That which I cannot hold
Except in my heart
Knowing I am forever her father. 

•••

Undo it, take it back, make every day the previous one until I am returned to the day before the one that made you gone. Or set me on an airplane traveling west, crossing the date line again and again, losing this day, then that, until the day of loss still lies ahead, and you are here instead of sorrow.

from A Woman's Book of Grieving
Excerpt by Nessa Rapoport

•••

I Lost My Child Today

by Netta Wilson

In Memory of her Daughter Caprice Cara Wilson, December 2, 1968 - November 20, 1994
~reprinted from May/June 2001 TCF Atlanta Newsletter


I lost my child today.
People came to weep and cry,
as I just sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say
to try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief,
I lost my child today.
I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away,
some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream.
This can't be real, I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside.
God help me, I want to die.
I lost my child last month.
I lost my child last year.
Now people who had come, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long
to bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question,
Why? Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long.
I lost my child last year.
Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
My eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face
"You must move on and leave this place."
Yet I am trapped right here in time,
The songs the same, as is the rhyme.
I lost my child....... TODAY.......

•••

A New Baby

By Debbie Love 
Reprinted from Heartbeats: A Collection of Poems compiled by the Center for Loss in Multiple Birth (CLIMB), Inc. 

A new baby, how wonderful 
everyone does say, but if they could feel 
the pain that came before this day. 

To have your children die at such 
an early stage, makes you wonder 
if this day will end in the same way. 

You have been down roads that 
no parent should ever have to go. 
and now you bring a new life into this world 
hoping tragedy comes your way no more. 

This baby means so much to you, but 
it will never take away the pain 
or make you forget. It lets others 
go on with life and think it was 
all for the best. 

Oh how you miss your children 
that have died before this day, 
but remember them in your heart and 
they will never go away. 

 

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