Rights of Parents Who Experience an Early Pregnancy Loss

This and similar articles can be found at www.nationalshareoffice.com. The mission of Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc. is to serve those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first few months of life.

Parents who have had a baby die early in the pregnancy should have the opportunity:

• To contact their partners or other support persons immediately.
• To be given the choice to see their baby, no matter how small.
• To have procedures for the ending of the pregnancy explained to them and to be offered the one that best suits their needs.
• To be reminded that their baby may be tested and examined, even if the loss occurs at home.
• To be given a keepsake of their baby to take home or for the hospital or doctor's office to keep on file, such as a sonogram picture or a positive pregnancy test result.
• To receive pastoral care.
• To name their baby if they wish to.
• To receive information on burial or memorial services and the options concerning the disposition of their baby's remains.
• To have the grieving process explained and to be provided with written information on bereavement, especially the telephone number of a local support group, such as Share.
• To receive guidance on how to help their children at home cope with the pregnancy loss.
• To have a phone number of a staff person to call if medical questions arise or if parents need emotional support or referral information for further help.
• To receive follow-up appointments for medical tests and genetic counseling or to review lab test results.
• To be asked about their feelings concerning their loss. This is an amazingly helpful gesture and it encourages the parents to talk about their loss if they wish to.

December 2000. Compiled by Perry-Lynn Moffitt, co-author of A Silent Sorrow and endorsed by Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, Inc. and pregnancy and perinatal loss support groups and leaders nationally.

Rights of Parents When a Baby Dies:

• To be given the opportunity to see, hold and touch their baby at any time before and/ or after death within reason.
• To have photographs of their baby taken, and made available to the parents or held in security until the parents wish to see them.
• To be given as many mementos as possible, e.g., crib card, baby beads, ultrasound and / or other photos, lock of hair, feet and hand prints and record of weight and length.
• To name their child and bond with him or her.
• To observe cultural and religious practices.
• To be cared for by an empathetic staff who will respect their feelings, thoughts, beliefs and and individual requests.
• To be with each other throughout hospitalization as much as possible.
• To be given time alone with their baby, allowing for individual needs.
• To request an autopsy. In the case of miscarriage, to request to have or not have an autopsy or pathology exam as determined by applicable law.
• To have information presented in terminology understandable to the parents regarding their baby's status and cause of death, including autopsy and pathology reports and medical records.
• To plan a farewell ritual, burial or cremation in compliance with local state regulations and according to their personal beliefs, religious or cultural tradition.
• To be provided with information on support resources which assist in the healing process, e.g., support groups, counseling, reading material and perinatal loss newsletters.

Rights of the Baby:

• To be recognized as a person who was born and died.
• To be named.
• To be seen, touched and held by the family.
• To have life-ending acknowledgment.
• To be put to rest with dignity.

Rights of Children When a Sibling Dies:

• To be acknowledged as individuals who have feelings that need to be expressed.
• To be given the choice to see and hold our sibling before and after the death within reason.
• To be considered in the choices parents are given, we may have opinions on such things as plans for funeral, baby's name, etc.
• To be informed about the feelings of grief in our terms, giving us the choice of a support group or counselor.
• To be recognized by our society that we will always love and miss our sibling.